I have another puzzle for you
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-da-dee
If you are wise, you'll listen to me
Gum chewing's fine when it's once in a while
It stops you from smoking and brightens your smile
But it's repulsive, revolting, and wrong
Chewing and chewing all day long
The way that a cow does
Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-da
Given good manners, you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-do
Those little orange-faced dwarfs were smarter than I realized. It's been documented that chewing too much gum isn't good for you - especially your jaw muscles. But can the stuff inside gum actually affect your health?
Not likely. Unless you chew all day long "the way that a cow does."
Abigail Cormack, of New Zealand, was hospitalized for awful muscle cramps and tingling in her extremities five months ago. They were afraid this very fit and otherwise healthy woman was having a heart attack. Her heart was out of rhythm, and she was having anxiety attacks, depression, and terrible rashes. Doctors were baffled.
Her doctor read about how aspartame, a synthetic sweetner also known as NutraSweet, could become deadly if ingested in large amounts over a long period of time. The doctor also knew of Abigail's habit - she chewed at least four packs of aspartame-filled gum per day.
Aspartame is digested into aspartic acid, phenylalanine and methanol, which then becomes formaldehyde - a deadly neurotoxin used as embalming fluid (ewwwwww!). The doctor wasn't sure aspartame was the cause, so ordered Abigail to stop chewing gum for 24 hours. Her symptoms ceased immediately.
I'm happy to report that Abigail is doing great, and no longer chews gum with aspartame - for her health's sake. Her new vice is chain smoking and gummy bears.