The Phoenix

Friday, January 26, 2007

Call me Inspector Gadget

The 2007 International CES (Consumer Electronics Show) in Las Vegas ended January 11th, showcasing the worlds' most incredible technologies and products that ordinary people like you and me will be able to buy very soon. This is every gadgeteer's dream come true. The neatest "toys" surrounded by music, hot babes, and geeks.

I've selected some of the coolest and zanniest stuff from the CES show for 2007. These are things that I either find extremely useless, unique, or a necessity I just might have to purchase when I win the lottery.

iPod By The Poo Poo
You knew this was coming. When you're on the throne, regretting that giant chimmichunga you had the night before, don't you wish you could listen to your favorite music? I know I would. That's why Atech created the Stereo Dock for iPod with Bath Tissue Holder. With a retail price between $79 - $103, you can afford to listen to Squeeze while you squeeze.

Hunk Of Burning (Robot) Love
The 2007 CES is held in Sin City, so what is Vegas without something Elvis? The WowWee company first brought us Robosapien, then Roboraptor, and now...WowWee Alive Elvis! This robot bust of the King of Rock n' Roll can play 8 of his songs, talk about his life, and even has a karaoke mode. Watch video of this amazing robot HERE. Maybe the second generation RoboElvis can deep fry up some peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Maybe then, it'll be worth its $350 price tag.

Mary Poppins Got Pimped-Up.
The company that brought us the Ambient Orb now brings us the Ambient Umbrella. But this is no ordinary umbrella. The handle contains a wireless data-radio chip. The chip is linked directly to, and when the forecast calls for rain in your area, the handle begins to glow - signaling for you to open your umbrella. This is so much easier than looking up into the sky.

Who Needs Privacy?
What exactly happens when you're not home? Is the nanny beating your children? What is Junior really doing when he's in the bathroom for an hour? To answer these questions, get Spyke, the spy robot by Erector. Yes - the same company that makes all those metal building toys now brings a robot with wi-fi capabilities with a camera for a head. You can control Spyke from any computer with internet access. How cool! I think for $250, Spyke would also make a wonderful gadget to torture your dog or cat with while you're at work.

Who Needs Hearing?
By MTX Audio, how about a subwoofer that can make your ears bleed? This 22 inch subwoofer weighs 369 pounds! The JackHammer's magnetizer is so damn powerful, it'll wipe your credit card clean if you get within a few feet of it. For $7,500, you can kill all your brain cells while you listen to Vanilla Ice.

My Own R2D2
OK, I am a big Star Wars fan. I would love to own this $2000 R2D2 DVD player/projector by Nikko. You just slip a DVD into the famous mech droid, and it'll project the movie up onto a wall. R2D2 can also be hooked up to your ipod for a full media experience. Many geeks are going to line up for this product, as they can't wait to play it in their parents' basements.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is sorta like walking through that gadget store at the mall, and you go, "Who really buys this stuff?"

1/26/2007 8:25 AM  
Anonymous the amoeba said...

Hot babes, eh? Tell me there ain't one named Inspector Gidget. For a small added charge ...

1/26/2007 11:01 AM  
Blogger Sherri said...

Ooooohhhh..... I could use a Spyke, the spy robot erector! Imagine the fun you could have with that! LOL

1/26/2007 11:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've heard that they outlawed half-naked women on the show floor. I'm sure there are still some to be found. It is Vegas after all.

I think the umbrella should just open automatically if it detects rain. Wherever it is - inside your office, inside your home, inside your bag. That would be fun.

You forgot "upskirt pictures" as a good application for the webcam robot.

Did you see the Mythbusters where they tried to bust the windows with the worlds largest car speaker system?

1/26/2007 12:03 PM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

I won't consider buying the Ipod Le Poopie until the contraption comes with automatic air freshener and alcohol-free wet wipes. Only THEN, will it be a worthy product. (WHO thinks of these things??!)

God forbid a sprinkle of rain might light upon my head before I have time to open my umbrella. I really do NEED one of those!

I really DO want the R2D2!! Very cool!!

1/26/2007 12:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I have no comment because all that's in my head is...

do-do-do-do-do Inspector Gadget
do-do-do-do-do woo-hoo


1/26/2007 1:25 PM  
Blogger Mimi said...

The umbrella would be handy. If I actually remembered to have it where I could see it.

1/26/2007 1:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"how about a subwoofer that can make your ears bleed?"...

I have one of those only it's not a MTX Audio!

woof, woof! :+)

1/26/2007 2:11 PM  
Anonymous stephanie said...

I think you've just written a tagline.

"iPod By The Poo Poo"

1/26/2007 3:07 PM  
Anonymous Andrew Cairns said...

"... you can afford to listen to Squeeze while you squeeze."

Oh dear!

1/26/2007 3:41 PM  
Blogger Big Pissy said...

I think the R2D2 will be the biggest seller out of all these.


and the Ipod Poo Poo gadget! *LOL*

1/26/2007 9:45 PM  
Anonymous delmer said...

I'd be all over the R2D2 if I had money to burn and a big blank wall.

The Elvis would be cool too. But Wow Wee Alive Elvis? The King would not approve.

1/26/2007 11:36 PM  
Blogger kim said...

I saw the iPod TP dispenser at a different trade show recently. It is really.... unique. And much louder than you'd think it would be.

Crazy Japanese!

1/26/2007 11:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That umbrella idea takes the cake. I realize there are some stupid people in the world, but do you really need an umbrella to tell you when it's raining?! I wonder how it would react to a hurricane warning.

I want the R2D2 thing, also!

1/27/2007 9:59 AM  
Anonymous the weirdgirl said...

You know, I could have gone to CES for work. Think I made a mistake staying home?

1/28/2007 12:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love your comment about the umbrella. Technology is great but sometimes it doesn't have common sense.

1/28/2007 1:03 PM  
Blogger The Phoenix said...

mad, If I had the money, I'd buy a ton of useless crap.

amoeba, Good one!

sherri, Kids can use it to find out why mommy and daddy make funny noises at night.

brianalt, it's not very difficult to find half nekkid women in Vegas. I saw that episode, by the way.

JD, I don't understand why a person can't just wear their ipod when they poop.

jenna, sorry for the earworm

1/28/2007 8:33 PM  
Blogger The Phoenix said...

mimi, I lose umbrellas like I lose twistie ties to bread packages.

karen, You go girl!

stephanie, I'll get a bunch of pervs searching for those keywords tomorrow.

andrew, How about "Men at Work?" hahahaha.

big pissy, I agree. R2D2 will outsell them all.

delmer, He's probably cursing the company right now.

kim, I think loud bass would distract me from my "business."

onmywatch, obviously, there are some morons that need to know when to use an umbrella

WG, you should've gone!!!!

mr. shife, I guess people thought the same thing about TV remote controls. But now, I can't live without it.

1/28/2007 8:39 PM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

I just showed my son the ipod dock with TP and he said, "We should get one of those."

My God! What have I raised??!!!!

1/28/2007 8:48 PM  
Blogger The Phoenix said...

JD, you've raised a red-blooded American young man.

1/28/2007 8:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is it about guys and gadgets? One of my future posts will deal with this. My dad died last month and my mom and I are still sifting through his gadgets.

If it ran on batteries, he owned it! :)

1/28/2007 8:58 PM  
Blogger Phats said...

Cool i can't wait to buy all of these haha :)

Hot babes? I don't buy that one

1/28/2007 10:42 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

I tell you, having a statue of Elvis in my bathroom would sure as hell make me "poo poo"!

1/29/2007 12:17 AM  
Blogger cube said...

That R2D2 unit is cute, but too pricey for me :-(

I have 2 daughters to put through college.

1/31/2007 11:08 AM  

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