The 2006 Darwin Awards
Only the strong survive, but the weak provide the most entertainment with the many creative ways they dispose of their DNA for the betterment of all mankind.
Here are the 2006 Darwin Award winners:
Darwin Award Second Runner-Up
In August, a Brazilian metal scrap woker tried to disassemble a Rocket Propelled Grenade (RPG) by driving back and forth over it with a car. That didn't work so well. What to do? Oh, why not try the RPG with a sledgehammer?
On his second swing, the grenade detonated. The explosion killed the bafoon, destroyed six cars, and wiped out the repair shop. The good news is, he at least created lots and lots of scrap metal. Oh, and the nimrod is no longer able to reproduce and create more idiotic offspring.
Darwin Award First Runner-UP
26 year old Kennon, of Belize, was doing his own version of Mythbusters in March. Could Benjamin Franklin's flying a kite with a metal key really draw lightning from the sky? Here's a good idea, let's try it. Wanting to achieve a dramatic effect, Kennon made a kite with a short string that he had extended with a length of thin copper wire.
That should do it!
As Kennon was running with the kite, the copper wire made contact with a high-tension line, sending a bolt of electrical lightning through Kennon, killing him. The irony? Kennon's father said that his son was an electrician, and "should have known better."
He should have, but alas, he didn't. Besides, would you trust that dipshit to work on YOUR home's wiring?
Darwin Award Winner
This one's a double-whammy. Two 21 year old college students from Florida, Jason and Sara, decided to have a little fun with helium. Sounds harmless, right? But an ordinary helium-filled balloon wasn't good enough for them. They had their sights set on the giant eight foot advertising balloon at their local strip mall.
They pulled down the giant balloon and climbed inside. No doubt, they were probably having a great time with their helium-induced voices. However, what they didn't know was that life needs oxygen to live. The helium probably made them feel high, then light-headed, and finally made them pass out.
The feet of Jason and Sara were found protruding from the deflated advertising balloon. You see how important oxygen is?
A family member said "Sara was mischievous, to be honest. She liked fun and it cost her."
As the helium made Jason and Sara sound like chipmunks, I wonder if their dying words were, "We represent...the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild...hehehehehehe..."