Oh...I thought you said she was allergic to PEANUTS
Not tonight, I have a headache.
I'm PMS-ing. Please don't touch me.
Not until you fix the storm door.
It seems scientists have discovered a new legitimate justification for women to reject our cassanova-like advances:
Allergy to SEX.
A recent study in Cincinatti of over one-thousand women found that 130 of them had an allergic reaction to sex. And by allergic reaction, I mean they had classic physical reactions to it like itching, burning, swelling, hives, and even trouble breathing.
"It's really a very rare condition, but it does happen," allergist and immunologist David Resnick at New York Presbyterian Hospital said. "Typically symptoms occur within 30 minutes of intercourse, but in rare cases it may be hours or even days later."
So what about sex are these women having these allergic reactions to? Are they actually allergic to the male penis? (NO, not peanuts).
No. These women are allergic to semen. (No, not seamen). Some of the women were allergic to the substances found in semen (i.e. their men ate something in particular or were taking a medication the women were allergic to). They found the semen-allergic ladies also suffered from more mainstream allergies like hay fever. Doctors believe it's a protein released from the prostrate gland that these women are mostly allergic to (human seminal plasma protein hypersensitivity, or SPH).
"In most cases, symptoms gradually worsen and occur sooner with subsequent exposures," Dr. Resnick said.
OK, so what's a woman to do if she finds she's allergic to her man's semen? There are two courses of action:
1) Doctors can apply diluted samples of semen onto her vagine every 20 minutes. With each round, they would increase the amount of semen to get her body to desensitize her immune system. And who the heck gets to apply the semen? Does this method sound appealing to ANY woman alive anyway?
2) They can receive shots of semen over a few weeks, increasing the semen amount with each appointment. This sounds less dreadful than method #1, but how appealing is it???
I think Dr. Resnick forgot the third option:
Just tell your man you have a headache.