The Phoenix

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Too Much of a Good Thing Can Lead To Suicide?

Yet one more study is getting published showing a strong correlation between breast implants and suicide.

Why, oh why?

Doctors from the Laval University of Quebec, along with others from the Canadian Public Health Agency and Cancer Care Ontario studied 24,600 women whom received breast implants for cosmetic purposes only. The study lasted 15 years. What they learned was that the women that had implants had a suicide rate 73% higher than the control group.

This startling finding is greatly supported by similar studies.

For example, in 2004, a Danish study found that silicone pumped women had a higher suicide rate. A University of Pennsylvania study in 2003 likewise had similar results.

So what's the deal?

These previous studies took stock of the psychological health of these women that decided to go under the knife to get bigger boobies. Generally, these women had lower self-esteem, less self-confidence, and higher rates of mental illness.

So Joan Rivers must have the lowest self-esteem known to man. Acutally, Joan Rivers has been dead for 10 years. Her daughter has been controlling her mother's body like a puppet.

What do these results mean? Simply put, doctors must tend to the psychological needs of women wanting breast implants. And often, cosmetic surgery isn't the complete answer to a woman's lack of confidence.

In related studies, women who received any kind of cosmetic surgery had a higher rate of suicide than the general public. But the breast implanted women had a 20% higher rate of suicide than those who had all types of plastic surgery.

In related news, Pamela Anderson has been put under suicide-watch.


Blogger Keshi said...

Booby trap ha? :)


9/26/2006 10:30 PM  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

"Acutally, Joan Rivers has been dead for 10 years." LOL!

Do you think the boob doctors include the word *bodacious* when they bid a, "Ta Ta For Now" at the end of the day?

9/26/2006 10:44 PM  
Anonymous the weirdgirl said...

Oh, that pic of those poor crooked boobies! Is that an implant that "fell" on the left side?

9/26/2006 11:23 PM  
Anonymous Jennifer said...




Makes sense though, women who need the approval/attention of others/have poor body image issues would also have issues with who they are fundamentally.

9/27/2006 12:46 AM  
Blogger Michelle said...

LMFAO @ the Joan rivers comment, omg...too funny!!!

9/27/2006 1:33 AM  
Blogger Laurie said...

I'm at work and had to scroll down reeeeeealllly fast!!! LOL

I'm not suicidal. At all. ;-)

9/27/2006 2:11 AM  
Blogger DaBich said...

Dis Biatch is ALL natural ;)

I'm dying here on the Joan Rivers comments LMAO!

9/27/2006 5:00 AM  
Blogger Mr. Friendly said...

Good to have you back Phoenix!

You might be interested in knowing that your lead picture nearly caused a death.

Yeah, I almost choked on my bagel.

9/27/2006 6:11 AM  
Blogger David Amulet said...

Welcome back.

This doesn't really surprise me, but it's still sad.

-- david

9/27/2006 7:39 AM  
Blogger The Phoenix said...

Sorry I was gone for so long. I spent most of September in Allentown, PA for training. I didn't have much time for any blogging.

It's great to be back.

9/27/2006 9:07 AM  
Anonymous delmer said...

Maybe the implants are part of a long-range suicide plan.

You know. The whole "leave a good lookin' corpse" part.

9/27/2006 9:17 AM  
Blogger angel, jr. said...

I'll have to go back and re-read your post later. I'm in the public library right now and when I opened your post, it had those mammary glands on it. I got paranoid that some small child/housewife may see the screen and flip out.

9/27/2006 10:08 AM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

If someone is willing to foot the bill for me, I'll be a guinea pig...I'll get the implants and then my "sponser" can can study me to see if I wig out.




9/27/2006 10:56 AM  
Blogger Jim said...

I believe it's technically know as the Hooters Syndrome and has been correlated with bad tips and having to pretend to like balding 30-somethings

nuibwow <-- WOW

9/27/2006 2:17 PM  
Blogger Phats said...

Oh come on phoenix you know you only did this topic so you could google image boobs!! :) haha

9/27/2006 4:57 PM  
Blogger Grafs said...

The more you try to alter who you are, the more it indicates you are unhappy with yourself. Surgery is an option, but unhappiness with self catches up with you sooner or later. That and aging.

9/27/2006 8:30 PM  
Blogger DaBich said...

Allentown, you were only 2 - 3 hours away from me then!

9/28/2006 4:45 AM  
Blogger Curare_Z said...

Welcome back...and with such gusto! I'm glad I've never had to consider getting mental state is in question enough as is. :-)

9/28/2006 8:24 AM  
Blogger O Ceallaigh said...

Welcome back Phoenix.

So tell me - for your next act, are you going to look for a correlation between suicide rates and penis enlargement pills? Hmmm??


9/28/2006 2:02 PM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Pam Anderson had hers removed (the implants not her boobs), then decided to have them put back in. Hers and Anna Nicole Smith's look kind of like bowling balls.
I'll just keep mine the way they are. I wouldn't want to go to all that trouble to have implants put in and then decide to shoot myself because my butt is too big.
Joan Rivers looks ghastly. Happy Halloween!!
I'd say it's a safe bet that she suffers from poor self esteem.

Welcome back to Blogdom. Life is just too darned busy at times, and there's no time for blogging.
You were missed!!

9/28/2006 7:43 PM  
Blogger The Phoenix said...

I apologize to any of you that happened to come to this post with co-workers, young children, or prude people nearby.

For me, I can't help but giggle everytime I see that crooked boobie.

9/28/2006 8:07 PM  
Blogger Mimi said...

I dunno but if it were men getting the boobs implanted they would probably live longer rather than commit suicide! Cause in the end happiness is the road to a long life. And what makes a man happier than boobies?

9/28/2006 9:27 PM  
Anonymous theyawnblog said...

I'm still waiting for the results on those men who have had penis enlargement surgery. Something tells me the suicide rate is lower, but I don't think anyone has actually taken the time and grant dollars to find out whether guys with pieces of the Bangkok phonebook bulked into their penises to increase the girth have ANY risks or characteristics statistically significantly higher than the guy with the natural 9" like myself, or even the guy cursed to an existence of brandishing a mere 7". With the flourishing of plastic surgery outsourcing, I'm sure we'll know within a decade.

9/28/2006 11:16 PM  
Blogger cube said...

The correlation is simple. Barring those unfortunates who have lost a breast to cancer, only a stupid woman would subject her body to implant surgery. Ergo, it is more likely for stupid women to commit suicide ;-)

9/29/2006 11:37 AM  
Blogger Pixie said...

So in short when they realise a bigger pair of boobs isnot going to change their life around this is the only way out ?

9/29/2006 12:05 PM  
Blogger Sherri said...

LOL!! This is definitely one of my favorite posts!

9/29/2006 1:28 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

Pamela Anderson has been put under suicide-watch...

...i would be too if i was married to Kid Rock!

9/29/2006 4:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Welcome back Phoenix.
I think a person who is unhappy with themselves is more prone to be suicidal. I wouldn't blame is on the boob-jobs. It is cliche' but true that real beauty flows from within.

10/01/2006 9:25 AM  
Blogger Carmel said...

Joan Rivers was shocking. That's an interesting study and shows just how much lack of confidence some women have, and how they feel about how they look. I know some women who would not ever be seen without make up or their hair done, I also know women who have and are a bout to have breast implants.
Funny about the Pamela anderson thing lol.

10/01/2006 6:27 PM  
Blogger :P fuzzbox said...

When I first read this news story, I was amazed. But the self esteem thing must play a large part. So maybe it is a huge mistake to have it done and not spend some bucks on trying to build your esteem and not your bra size.

10/02/2006 10:33 AM  
Blogger Jon Cox said...

Hahaha!!!! Great post! :o)

10/03/2006 1:50 AM  
Blogger BrianAlt said...

I don't know, but welcome back.

Was blogging too much of a good thing? Thankfully not!

10/03/2006 7:48 AM  
Blogger Carae said...

Methinks you just needed an excuse to look for images of boobs....

Just kidding! Interesting correlation. I hadn't heard that before.

10/03/2006 4:37 PM  
Anonymous mojotek said...

I think I'm going to change careers and start medical school to become a platic surgeon just to study this "scientific phenomenon".

On second thought, I think it'll just be cheaper to renew my subscription to Hustler.

10/03/2006 5:14 PM  
Blogger vani said...

omg, look at that woman's face- joan rivers that is....looks like the joker!

10/03/2006 9:02 PM  
Blogger grrrbear said...

I wonder if there's a link between suicide among men and them dating women with breast implants. The logic would be that if the man has low self-esteem he'd be more likely to date a woman with low self-esteem (evidenced by their partner having breast implants)...

Sounds like we need more research, and more pictures of boobies to accompany the results. Nice work Phoenix!

10/05/2006 12:20 PM  
Blogger phlegmfatale said...

Dude! Marty Feldman Boobs. Eek.

10/06/2006 6:23 AM  
Blogger Cari said...

reminds me of engorgement...NOT pretty

10/12/2006 1:34 PM  

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