The Phoenix

Monday, August 07, 2006

RuPaul In the Henhouse

Who said chicken farmers don't have a sense of humor?

Christel Hammar-Malmgren's has named all the chickens in his henhouse after Henry VIII and his wives. Recently, however, there's been some high drama even the British monarch would blush at. It seems a hen, named Anne Bolyen, is giving the rooster a run for his money. Anne is a transsexual and has been stealing time away with the other "wives" from Henry VIII.

"Henry VIII is bloody angry. The other hens are mostly just surprised but they seem to increasingly accept him or her," Hammar-Malmgren said.

I find the fact that she named all her chickens after Henry VIII and his wives both amusing and ironic.

So what exactly happened?

"She had lost most of her hen feathers and had begun growing a comb and tail," the owner reported.

Anne Bolyen is even crowing like a rooster. Hammar-Malmgren noted that Anne was not a typical hen from the start. The hen didn't exhibit typical hen-like behaviors and even laid bad eggs.

You can bet Henry VIII is wanting Anne's head!

So how could this have happened? A simple explanation could be that Anne was simply born this way. She was a rooster in a hen's body from birth. Another possible cause might be an exposure to hormones either in the water or the feed.

What's funny is that the real-life Anne Bolyen was rumored to have a sixth finger and was put to death for adultry, incest, and practicing witchcraft.



Anonymous mad said...

my name is anne bolyen
i cluck like a chicken
'cept this hen got no huevos

8/07/2006 11:18 AM  
Blogger DaBich said...

LOL Phoenix. I actually saw this one a friend's site. I wss like...c'mon, get REAL. I guess it IS real.
Poor chicken, err...cock..errr.. well, you know ;)

8/07/2006 12:02 PM  
Blogger Mimi said...

I think the chicken farmer is a few pieces short of a bucket.

8/07/2006 12:13 PM  
Blogger Mr. Friendly said...

In a not-so-totally-unrelated event, I saw "Chicken Run" over the weekend. It holds up well, really well.

Those Wallace and Gromit guys are allright.

8/07/2006 2:08 PM  
Blogger KC said...

So, was this Anne Boleyn also accused of sleeping with her brother and her musician? Did one of her "bad" eggs hatch to become Elizabeth I?

She really sounds as if she's gender-confused. Poor girl (boy).

8/07/2006 2:24 PM  
Blogger Jenna Howard said...

Wow. So chicken balls really do exist!

8/07/2006 3:27 PM  
Blogger Perplexio said...

Transexual chickens? It sounds like an idea for one of those 80s USA Network Up-All-Night movies.

Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Hell Comes to Frogtown, Vice Academy 2 ANNNNNNDDD Transexual Chickens from Transylvania!

8/07/2006 3:29 PM  
Anonymous the weirdgirl said...

Wow, there would be some very happy local transexuals if they could sprout their own combs! Much easier than "the operation".

Lucky cock.

8/07/2006 3:59 PM  
Blogger Grafs said...

Swell...I'm going to start naming my fish after German generals. :P

8/07/2006 5:50 PM  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

What the cluck?

this could explain where chicken nuggets come from.

also, gives new meaning to the chicken that *crossed the road* thing!

8/07/2006 5:54 PM  
Anonymous Jennifer said...


I totally love the fact that he named them after King Henry. HA!

Weird about the Chicken. The default sex among all species is female, so...I wonder if the triggers responsible for making a she a he, were a bit late? In a human fetus it is activated at about the 8th week of development.

I really wonder what the heck happened with that Chick/Hen. *snicker*

8/07/2006 6:19 PM  
Blogger siren said...

The comb would be equivalent to a chicken mullet right?

8/07/2006 6:42 PM  
Blogger Fatman said...

Well if I removed every six-fingered, incestuous, witch that I know in my life it would drastically diminish my dating pool.

8/07/2006 6:45 PM  
Blogger :P fuzzbox said...

I have often wondered if Big Bird was a tranny. He is awfully effeminate for a big ass bird.

8/07/2006 7:34 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

omg must be some hormonal prob?


8/07/2006 8:40 PM  
Blogger Phats said...

I always wondered about that Anne Bolyen.

Is the joker at the bottom you? haha

8/07/2006 11:31 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Brings ew meaning to the term "Giblets"!

8/08/2006 1:54 AM  
Blogger David Amulet said...

Phonenix, this post is really for the birds.

-- david

8/08/2006 6:48 AM  
Blogger Sherri said...

So now I'm wondering, what REALLY did come first, the chicken or the egg??

8/08/2006 12:46 PM  
Blogger ObilonKenobi said...

That's funny. A transexual hen. What will they think of next. A cow with balls??!??!?!

8/08/2006 1:27 PM  
Blogger The Phoenix said...

If the she/male hen starts going to Home Depot, then it's time to truly worry.

8/08/2006 4:17 PM  
Blogger Nan said...

Phoenix it's funny you talk about chickens and roosters today - because - earlier today I was thinking about searching the internet to find out how swan tastes?... Maybe you have an answer for me..

8/08/2006 4:35 PM  
Blogger Will said...


8/08/2006 10:24 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

This story reminds me of one of your recent posts about that headless chicken. What was his name now, Mike ??

Both good stories

8/09/2006 3:44 AM  
Blogger Cari said...

Yowsa....henry VIII was not a very cute man....


I think the chicken's cuter

8/09/2006 7:43 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

always runnin' round here like a chicken with my head cut off! {grin}

8/09/2006 8:21 AM  
Blogger Perplexio said...

Phoenix, what if the hen/rooster starts coaching the girls softball team or starts teaching phys ed?

8/09/2006 4:01 PM  
Blogger The Phoenix said...

Or what if the shemale chicken gets her/his own talk show?

8/10/2006 9:53 AM  
Blogger Rocky said...

Hmmm, a chick with a dick? Maybe one of the Colonel's secret spices morphed the bird.

8/13/2006 11:00 PM  

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