The Phoenix

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Chinese Fight Club...It Packs A Punch!

I was told in grade school that if I was angry and frustrated, it was ok for me to beat up on a pillow. I had a great imagination, and taking out my fury on an inantimate object proved a great way to release it in a healthy way.

Apparently the Chinese lack such an imagination.

Wu Gong has opened a great new place called The Rising Sun Anger Release Bar.

Actually, it doesn't take much of an imagination to figure out what happens at this bar.

Patrons of the Nanjing, China bar can go have a drink, grab a smoke, talk to buddies, and beat the living shit out of bar workers. The 20 bar employees that have previously graduated from the Tina Turner School of Taking An Ass Whipping will dress up as your most hated enemy, and let you punch, kick, throw, spit on, and beat them....for a good tip. Customers get to take out their anger, the bar workers are well trained to take a beating, and Chinese society is spared the wrath of pissed off hookers, salesmen, and rice paddy farmers.

Wu Gong drew upon his experiences as a migrant worker. He believes with the evergrowing stress from industrialization, many Chinese workers need a place to relieve their everyday frustrations. Right now, the most popular patrons of Gong's bar are prostitutes and go-go dancers.

Go figure.

Nanjing residents are mixed with the idea of having such an institution in town. Many think it's a great idea. "Pressure in today's society comes from just about anywhere, from family or from work, from your boss or your girlfriend. We get no place to vent anger," said salesman Chen Liang.

Even experts agree with Mr. Liang. Zhang Yong, of Nanjing’s Xiaoran Psychological Consultation Centre said, "no matter how civilised people have evolved to be, some still find that violence is the best way to get rid of their burning rage."

White collar professionals are warming up to the concept as well. Jin Wong said, "My brother and I come here often and have two of the workers dress up as our wives. We then beat up our "wives" for the next hour. We get the anger out of our system, the workers get tipped very well, and our real wives are safe and sound."

Sounds like the Wong brothers are very happy customers.

But don't they know two Wongs don't make a wight?

I hear the bar's wontons are very derishous too. And if they're not, you can probably kick the bejeezus out of the cook while you're there.


Blogger Perplexio said...

Leave it to those wacky Chinese. I see a sitcom developing here:

2 employees of such a bar re-enact their favorite ass-whoopins hilarity and hijinks ensue!

Good thing it was the Chinese and not the Japanese who came up with the idea. Otherwise there might be some form of genital mutilation or public humiliation involved (over and above allowing someone to kick your ass for tips that is).

8/09/2006 10:46 AM  
Blogger Curare_Z said...

The employees have been "trained" to take a beating? LOL. How do you train to get your ass kicked?

Thos Wong wives sure are lucky. They could have been beaten and had their husbands jailed. Instead, they just don't have enough $$$ for dinner because the husbands are spending it all to beat up on the faux wives. That's so nice for them.

8/09/2006 11:19 AM  
Blogger Kay said...

Very weird. In my experience, American waitstaff have been taking a beating (verbally, not often literally) for years. Definitely taking it a step further than the Filipino restaurant where you can throw plates against the wall.

8/09/2006 12:01 PM  
Blogger angel, jr. said...

"Everybody loves Kung Foo Fighting--dee dee dee dee di--Our fists were fast as lightning--".

Hey, Lost In Texas left a message for you on my blog. She said something about putting together a video of your dance moves to "Baby Got Back". I agree. You know the Pinoy can get their groove on. I see it all the time in my cousins/siblings. I was very unfortunate in that I did not inherit such a talent. I've got two left feet. But I did inherit the height.

8/09/2006 12:17 PM  
Blogger Jenna Howard said...

Wow a dream job. To be a waiter who gets his ass kicked. All the time. Wow. Talk about big career dreams.

8/09/2006 12:31 PM  
Blogger Mimi said...

I am afraid to admit my husband would love that bar. He is not a bar person but he loves to rough up people when frustrated. When he was still on the sub they all beat the shit out of each other to release their frustrations. But he must have been the worst cause he was known as The Bully.

8/09/2006 12:50 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

It sounds like a weird version of "Fight Club" for tips.

8/09/2006 12:53 PM  
Blogger OnMyWatch said...

so, getting rid of their anger, they should have a wong wife ahead of them.

8/09/2006 2:19 PM  
Blogger The Phoenix said...

The Chinese are wacky, that's for sure. But the Japanese are just plain cruel. Some of their gameshows give me a ringing pain in my crotch just to watch.

I guess worker's comp is a very popular thing for employees. "Faux wives"...that's great.

kay, I've heard about that restaurant in the Philippines. People need to just chill out.

angel jr., that's one of my favorite songs of all time. My dance moves? I don't know...I'd hate to seduce all of the women in the blogosphere.

jenna, like Kay said - is there really much of a difference between verbal and physical abuse???

mimi, Well, a bunch of guys stuck in a submarine will make most people want to kick somebody's ass.

ben, Kung Fu Fight Club for Tips. Sounds like a great film.

onmywatch, that's so wight.

8/09/2006 2:35 PM  
Blogger David Amulet said...

Do you think they are allowed to punch someone named Wang in the wang? Mr. Chin in the chin?

-- david

8/09/2006 4:17 PM  
Blogger Phats said...

WOW! I hope they have great insurance, and are getting paid good.

A pillow huh? When I was angry I would pound tennis balls against my parents garage door, leaving nice black marks! haha

8/09/2006 4:17 PM  
Blogger Tai said...

Well, I guess if everyone's 'happy'??


8/09/2006 4:46 PM  
Blogger The Phoenix said...

David, it gives new meaning to "Everybody Wang Chung Tonight"

phats, I used a punching bag and just serving a few buckets of tennis balls too. In high school, I could not only beat up a lot of people - but I had such an awesome serve.

tai, I'm betting some of those bar employees are looking for new employment right now.

8/09/2006 5:22 PM  
Anonymous mad said...

Hey, that bar sounds pretty much like where I work, except there's no booze or prostitutes and the ones doing the beatings are the higher ups.

8/09/2006 6:16 PM  
Blogger :P fuzzbox said...

Chinese honky tonks. Cool. It would beat karaoke anyday.

8/09/2006 6:38 PM  
Blogger Jon Cox said...

Hahahaha! OMG THATS INSANE!!!!
AWESOME POST!!! Thank you for stopping by my blog, I appreciate your comments A LOT! :o)

8/09/2006 6:39 PM  
Blogger Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

The first rule of The Rising Sun Anger Release Bar is there is no The Rising Sun Anger Release Bar.

Obvious, but somebody had to say it.

8/09/2006 8:45 PM  
Anonymous Bruce said...

I can't believe you used the old "two wongs don't make a right" line.

8/09/2006 10:49 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

LMAO!!! Geez you'd want to be careful when you order a No34 you get the Chow Mein and not a set of nunchucks!

8/09/2006 11:50 PM  
Blogger Mr. Friendly said...

All right. This is all well and good but what happens when one super-pissed-off Shaolin monk comes into the bar one night?

Where do the wait staff run when David Carradine comes after a long day of "grab the pebble, grasshopper?"

It would have to be one very large tip.

8/10/2006 6:22 AM  
Blogger DaBich said...

I'd say the employees who take the beating have mental problems. Go figure!

8/10/2006 7:48 AM  
Blogger Eve said...

Who the FUCK would want to WORK THERE?! That's hilarious.

8/10/2006 8:07 AM  
Blogger The Phoenix said...

mad, Aggression is all around us, it seems.

fuzz, How about kombat karaoke?!

jon, You need to create an Einstein character.

shamus, I'm glad somebody finally said it.

bruce, I know. I think Amulet's sense of humor is rubbing off on me.

michelle, or the #22 is general tso's and not a bo staff.

mr. friendly, I would PAY to watch that.

dabich, I would think they have built-in 20 sick days.

NWG, obviously people who need the money.

8/10/2006 8:20 AM  
Blogger Denny Shane said...

I'd hate to see an American version opening here...

8/10/2006 8:37 AM  
Anonymous Jennifer said...

That is rather disturbing. Those people need other outlets, like rock climbing or jogging or somthing.

At some point those patrons will take it out of the bar and into their homes.


8/10/2006 10:18 AM  
Blogger Will said...

Um ... yeah, that doesn't sound like a very good career path. I hope there's health insurance.

8/10/2006 11:13 AM  
Blogger ozymandiaz said...

Sounds an awful lot like my job

8/10/2006 11:30 AM  
Blogger Fated said...

The art of taking an ass whipping eh?

Creepy, very creepy.

8/10/2006 12:36 PM  
Blogger cube said...

What a rov-ree post. I think I pass on this prace.

8/10/2006 12:44 PM  
Blogger jay lassiter said...

yeah, this has sitcom written all over it.

I don't understand the Chinese culture well enough to make an informed judgement.

8/10/2006 3:56 PM  
Blogger Carmel said...

haha! Very weird indeed. The only physical contact I had as a waitress was a butt head trying to touch my behind. >:(

8/10/2006 9:40 PM  
Blogger The Phoenix said...

denny, Here in the States, people would die.

jennifer, I thought about that too. Maybe creating a monster where there wasn't was prior.

will, I doubt they aspired to get their asses kicked as a vocation.

ozy, I do hope you at least have a 401K match.

8/11/2006 12:21 PM  
Blogger The Phoenix said...

fated, I remember some kids that were bullied in school. They mastered of getting whipped.

cube, Remember the pilot of a Chinese plane that struck our spy plane? His name was Wong Wei. You just can't make that shit up.

jay, Chinese culture is quite reserved and steeped in old tradition. And Kung Fu fighting is one of those traditions.

carmel, sadly, I've heard similar stories from those who have waited on people...especially drunk patrons.

8/11/2006 12:23 PM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

No way! Are you serious? That's crazy! (Ummm....what's that address again?)

8/11/2006 1:41 PM  
Anonymous delmer said...

I wonder if this guy had to present a business plan to investors in order to get the bar off the ground.

8/11/2006 9:19 PM  
Blogger starbender said...

Those wild and crazy chinese!
What will they come up with next?
I bet domestic violence becomes obsolete.... would hope!

8/12/2006 4:14 AM  
Blogger Paige Burns said...

I've been told by my blog whoring mentor, Queen Jenna, that I've neglected your blog.

My thought after this...two wongs don't make a right... "Oh, no, he did not go there."

*wondering how much a flight is to China*

8/12/2006 4:36 PM  
Blogger Jim said...

two Wongs don't make a wight <== how long have you been waiting for a chance to use that one??? LOL

8/12/2006 10:01 PM  
Blogger Grafs said...

Cool! I think a lot of people could use this in the US. I, for one, could never frequent one though. I hate hurting people.

8/13/2006 7:02 AM  
Blogger Rocky said...

That's my kind of place! Although I might like torturing them more by hauling my big ass around on a rickshaw tour of the Great Wall.

8/13/2006 10:53 PM  
Blogger Jay said...

Hmm. I wonder what the employee health benefits are like.

8/14/2006 11:16 AM  
Blogger Keshi said...

**Patrons of the Nanjing, China bar can go have a drink, grab a smoke, talk to buddies, and beat the living shit out of bar workers

Is this for REAL?


8/14/2006 11:58 PM  
Blogger phlegmfatale said...

I guess stress-relief like this is why they have so many fewer tellolists.

8/15/2006 6:32 PM  

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