Let Me Hear Your ZetaTalk...
Prophet Yahweh, the UFO-whisperer.
John Locke, the inventor of headgear that prevents aliens from controlling your brain.
Les Knight, the founder of a group that advocates the extinction of the human race.
Prince Mongo, the millionare alien among us.
Sharon Tendler, the woman that married a dolphin.
Dr. Burda, the man that can telepathically cure you from afar.
Matt Feshbach, the scientologist that has developed superpowers.
and finally, Derek Ogilvie, the psychic that communicates with infants.
In this nut-job tradition, I now bring to your attention Nancy Lieder - the lieder (ahem) I mean leader of a cult called ZetaTalk. What is ZetaTalk exactly? Simply put, if you combined every single X-Files/Conspiracy Theory/Bunch of Hulabaloo idea out there and shoved it under one umbrella, that umbrella would be ZetaTalk.
But this umbrella is full of holes and will leave you wet. (OK, that really doesn't make sense).
Let's break this down further and begin with the Zetas. Who are they? Zetas are those little grey aliens with big heads and bug eyes. These aliens are capable of answering what's called The Call. Think ET phone home for humans. Apparently, there are humans that have the ability to telephathically link with Zetas and ask for help.
And help us they do! They will be there when there's a massive pole shift and our Earth undergoes dramatic climactic changes. Zetas visit us, communicated with us, and of course BREED with us. How nice.
Nanc of ZetaTalk originally called for the end of the world in 2003. A comet will pass, signalling the pole shift, many will die, others will be saved, aliens will come, and of course only the memebers of ZetaTalk inherit the Earth and live happily ever after. But 2003 came and went, and nothing happened. So of course, the cult had to edit it's prophecies. Geez - talk about a bunch of amateurs. Don't they know cults should keep their prophecies open-ended and ambigious? But no, now they say it will happen in 2011.
The amount of crackpot theories surrounding this cult is just way too much to even begin to mention. But you get the point. Nancy is clearly insane. She insists she is not, and she and her group are constantly having to defend their beliefs. Nancy has also admitted to killer her own dog back in 2003 in order to spare it the wrath of the Earth's climatic shifts.
Yeah...she's not insane in the membrane, huh?
What intrigues me is The Call business. I want to learn how to contact a Zeta. Here's what the ZetaTalk website says: When giving The Call to aliens, humans are issuing a request for contact, without a voice, without words, but the meaning is sent and understood nonetheless, by telepathic and other such wordless and wireless means. The Call is made, received, and understood, and a conference is subsequently arranged.
So, does that mean I make The Call collect? Or do I get rollover minutes?
On second thought, it doesn't even matter. When it comes to Nancy Lieder and her ZetaTalk, I think her line is disconnected.