The Phoenix

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Freaky - Doo Animals

Strange animals have been making the news the last couple weeks. Mother Nature can sometimes do some very weird and twisted things when it comes to mutant animals. Here are just a couple that have gotten some press just this month:

Two-toned lobster.

This creature was captures in Bar Harbor (or as the locals call it, "Ba Haba"). It's right side is all dark green and brown. But the left side is flame orange. Scientists say this type of mutation is extremely rare - one in 100 million.

12 year old Alyssa Bonin of Webster, MA said upon seeing this freaky lobster, "Dude, it's half orange and half, like, regular color for a lobster."

Four-footed duck.

Zhang Baoxiu of Zaozhuang, China, bought this rare specimin at a flea market. The two front feet are quite normal, and this duck is very able to walk and swim. The other two legs are fused together and are useless. When the duck walks, they just drag along the ground.

Two - faced cat.

OK, this one is the freakest out of all of them. This kitten was born with four eyes, two noses, two mouths, and even two tongues. It seems the two mouths actually go into one throat. And a vet believes the cat only has one brain.

Lee Bluetear, the kitten's owner, has named this mutant kitty very appropriately: Gemini.

Finally, we have Suri Cruise.

The spawn of TomKat has produced the world's first invisible baby. Suri does exist, but no one can actually see her. And no, Tom Cruise did not allow high level Thetans to whisk her away in a spacecraft to seek Xenu.

Suri has the power of invisibility, which will probably come in handy when Crazy Tom actually goes looking for her.



Blogger OnMyWatch said...

those poor animals. freaky stuff. But I've met a few two-faced cats in my lifetime. I would've named the lobster, Jenny/Jenny.

7/18/2006 11:40 AM  
Blogger Jenna Howard said...

The invisible baby is the scariest one of all.

7/18/2006 12:00 PM  
Blogger Tai said...

Hopefully Suri will be able to hone her talent.
It's going to take an awful lot to get away from Crazy Cruise, I think.

7/18/2006 12:16 PM  
Blogger KC said...

I couldn't own a two-faced kitten. I would have nightmares. Truly. But, an invisible two-faced kitten.... I could deal with that.

7/18/2006 12:50 PM  
Blogger Perplexio said...

I wouldn't be surprised if the only medical witness to her birth happened to be the same French doctor which signed Jim Morrison's death certificate.

7/18/2006 12:53 PM  
Blogger The Phoenix said...

onmywatch, Great name!

jenna, I think the baby's father is even scarier.

tai, Is that a cavalry sword on top of your head still? Amazing.

kc, I think I could too.

perplexio, Or the guy that pronounced Elvis dead.

7/18/2006 1:00 PM  
Blogger :P fuzzbox said...

Psychedelic Rock Lobster is cool.

7/18/2006 1:06 PM  
Blogger Mimi said...

Suri does not exist! LOL

That lobster freaks me out the most cause the line between the colors is so perfect and straight.

7/18/2006 1:35 PM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

That poor kitten!

That poor Suri!


7/18/2006 2:00 PM  
Blogger Kid Jacque said...

ROTFLMAO!! That is so true about Suri!!

7/18/2006 3:09 PM  
Blogger Eve said...

Tom and Katie need to GO. I'm so over it.

7/18/2006 3:40 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

are Tom and Katie still together!?!

7/18/2006 3:52 PM  
Blogger Perplexio said...

The animals are all quite cool, Phoenix, but what about the 5-Assed Monkey, the 5-Assed Elephant, or the 5-assed tiger?

Or what about an elephant/pig hybrid?

7/18/2006 4:05 PM  
Blogger Jenna Howard said...

Maybe it was the seemingly unendless pregnancy that has rendered Suri invisible. A radioactive umbilical cord sent down Xenu or something.

Hm...I wonder what happens when Suri in teenage rebellion says "Dad. Scientology's based on a sci-fi novel. Y'know...fiction?" When she's grounded will they send her to Xenu?

That poor child.

7/18/2006 4:26 PM  
Blogger siren said...

I'd call that kitten a liar (sorry, I couldn't resist).

Poor Suri. There are just some things you can't escape. Crazy is one of them.

7/18/2006 4:28 PM  
Blogger angel, jr. said...

I thought the two toned lobster was pretty cool.
Yeah, I'm wondering whether Suri really does exist or not.
And I'm wondering if Katie was ever pregnant or not.

7/18/2006 7:18 PM  
Blogger Pixie said...

I cant see then blogger is devoid of photos tonight, but I dont know If Iwant to see a two faced cat though :|

7/18/2006 7:56 PM  
Blogger Catch said...

the poor poor kitty.....and poor Suri....all this speculation about a baby girl. And poor Katie....Tom is an idiot

7/18/2006 9:15 PM  
Blogger vani said...

ooooh, it took a while for me to finally make out the 2 faces on that kitten! mother nature can be a bitch sometimes...

7/18/2006 10:51 PM  
Blogger kim said...

That 2 face kitten always freaks me out.

And I just about choked on the Suri bit

7/18/2006 11:49 PM  
Blogger O Ceallaigh said...

Trust me. Spend some time sequencing a few genomes and you come to realize that the strange thing is not that freaks of nature exist, but that we all aren't freaks of nature, that we all don't feature in The Hills Have Eyes.

And as for Suri's invisibility, perhaps that's intentional. Professional training, especially if the Cruise family moves to Japan. Where, I read, suri means "pickpocket" or "thief".

Oh well, it could have been worse. The girl could have been named Moon Unit.

7/19/2006 12:36 AM  
Blogger DaBich said...

I'd hate to wake up to that kitten in my face!

7/19/2006 5:01 AM  
Blogger Cari said...


Suri scared me.

7/19/2006 7:11 AM  
Blogger ozymandiaz said...

Aw great, now we'll have invisable Scientologist. Oh, wait, maybe that's a good thing. I kinda wish I couldn't see the ones who are here now...

7/19/2006 7:24 AM  
Blogger David Amulet said...

The lobster is easily explained.

it lives a beach, after all -- haven't any of YOU ever misapplied sunscreen??

-- david

7/19/2006 8:41 AM  
Blogger Curare_Z said...

That two-faced kitten freaked me out! I saw the lobster the other day...and wondered why someone had only cooked half of it until I read the article. HA HA HA

7/19/2006 8:43 AM  
Blogger Sar said...

Icky creatures! Well except poor Suri. Assuming there is in fact a Suri. Did you see the controversial birth certificate?

Oh and congrats on making the final 5 in the caption contest, Phoenix!

7/19/2006 9:43 AM  
Anonymous delmer said...

Phoenix, you need to post a new entry soon. This one is just too disturbing to click to looking for an update.

It's the cat. I just feel too sorry for him. And you know he's going to have 18 lives ... the thing will never die.

7/19/2006 11:53 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

The two-faced kitty will have good peripheral vision.

I misread the Four Footed Duck, and I'm glad that my first read of that title was INcorrect. Otherwise, you'd have posted about a poor creature with a four footed dick, and that would have been sad indeed, unless you're a very big whale or something like that.

As for the lobster... pass the melted butter!

7/19/2006 3:58 PM  
Anonymous Jennifer said...

I think it points to how sick our planet is getting. Although there are many myths that point to genetic mutations (Minitor, cyclops etc). As usual I agree with O'cea, knowing what little I do about genetics - we are all mutants.

7/19/2006 5:17 PM  
Blogger PDD said...

I read about that cat. Apparently "they" refuse to eat.

Suri is a rotten suburb of Vancouver. Only it's spelled Surrey. There's also Hastings street in downtown vancouver. It's where all the heroin atticks hang out and shoot up and shit on the sidewalk and pass out in the middle of the street after they shoot up. It is littered with spoons. Should I name my daughter Hastings, or should I name my son Hastings?

7/19/2006 9:38 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

Freaky faces indeed!

**Suri has the power of invisibility, which will probably come in handy when Crazy Tom actually goes looking for her.

LOL! Does Suri exist anyways?


7/20/2006 12:44 AM  
Anonymous delmer said...

Is the two-faced cat from Grove City, Ohio? Which puts it about 10-miles from me.

If so. He's come up missing. Nobody has seen him in several days and he is feard dead. He had been having trouble eating. (His bunkmates had been having trouble sleeping). I heard this on the radio about 5 minutes ago. (Naturally, I made the part up about the poor sleep quality of his kitty friends.)

I remembered seeing this story on the news a while back. I didn't watch it as it troubled me. Not in a-two-faced-kitty-is-gross way, I just felt bad for him and I don't do well in situations where children or small animals are in distress.

I'll watch Bruce Willis kill adults all day ... a child with a runny nose in distress because he's unable to find a tissue brings me almost to tears.

So, what have we got here. The two faced cat. The psychic chiropractor. The ropeless jump rope. Ohio certainly has it all.

7/20/2006 7:24 AM  
Blogger cube said...

The poor child will require therapy forever with that nutty family.

BTW that baby doesn't look looks like one of the Founders from DS9. It's baby Odo!

7/20/2006 1:41 PM  
Blogger Grafs said...

I've seen a two-faced friend before :P

7/20/2006 2:57 PM  
Blogger Laurie said...

Yeah, good point - how come no one has ever actually seen Suri??

7/20/2006 2:59 PM  
Blogger Nan said...

Of all the strange creatures in this world I think lobsters are the most gross of all of them. Metting a lobster on a dark, stormy and cold night is one of my worst nightmares.. and a two coloured mutant lobster... Run Nan! Run!

7/20/2006 7:01 PM  
Blogger Fated said...

The lobster is so cute! So is the duck! The kitty scares the crap out of me though.

Think this baby actually exists or is it just some insane publicity stunt to shine light on Scientology?

"Help me, Jesus! Help me, Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft to get the fire off me!"

7/20/2006 10:18 PM  
Blogger Jon Cox said...

OMG CrAzY!!! Poor cat(s) & baby as well! GREAT post! :o)

7/20/2006 11:56 PM  
Blogger Fatman said...

Here's a link to a cwazy-lookin' fish with human teeth found in Texas. Ugh.

(That article found on Boing Boing which also recently had an article about a blind kid who could "see" things, Daredevil-like, by making clicking sounds. Link here.)

7/21/2006 12:03 AM  
Blogger Phats said...

First one creeped me out
Second one made me think of ALFAC
Third one was just plain odd
Fourth one was hystericaL! :)

7/21/2006 12:47 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

I wish Tom Cruise was invisible!

7/21/2006 10:07 PM  
Anonymous the weirdgirl said...

Oh, that poor kitty! How awful.

I kind of hope they kept the lobster alive for breeding, though... a two-colored lobster breed would be kind of cool.

7/21/2006 11:37 PM  
Blogger Carmel said...

Oh that cat looks so terrible! Being a cat lover that freaks me out!
poor baby =(

7/22/2006 9:01 PM  
Blogger Ben Heller said...

I know a two faced cat ex wife !

7/24/2006 3:48 AM  
Blogger Tim said...

How, pray tell, has a toddler gained the power of invisibility? Hmm. . .

And the lobster - or is it a crab - must be extremely rare as the scientists suggest, otherwise a crustacean does not gain the reddish color until it is boiled. Curious.

7/24/2006 4:49 AM  
Blogger The Phoenix said...

I promise a new post is coming, folks...

7/24/2006 8:18 AM  
Blogger Jay said...

I feel worse for the duck. Millions of dollars really do go a long way.

7/24/2006 1:27 PM  
Blogger Sherri said...

That cat totally freaks me out! Yikes!

7/24/2006 3:25 PM  
Blogger :P fuzzbox said...

They actually have a video out on that two faced cat now. Freaky stuff. I hope the blackouts haven't affected you too much.

7/24/2006 4:37 PM  
Blogger Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

Invisible babies may be freaky, but invisible baby poop is a bitch for sure.

7/24/2006 9:16 PM  
Blogger phlegmfatale said...

ew - i just kinda puked in my mouth.

7/24/2006 9:26 PM  
Blogger Jenna Howard said...

Okay, because I'm total slacker at work, I decided to do some blogsurfing. Some.

Anyway...I found out that gasp! This blog is up for Blogs of Summer and we must, must, must vote. So go here and vote for our guy!! We only have until tomorrow to vote!

This is my good deed for the day, although I may be stealing your blog thunder. Do I get rewarded?

7/26/2006 4:47 PM  
Blogger The Phoenix said...

You get a blue ribbon.

7/26/2006 8:58 PM  
Blogger Jenna Howard said...

Yay! I've never gotten a blue ribbon before. Is that like "Best In Show"?

7/26/2006 9:16 PM  
Blogger Fated said...

Oh my. Vacation?

/going stir crazy for a new post

7/27/2006 12:14 AM  

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