The Abduction of Bob
I had the opportunity to meet and interview such a person. I spent two days talking with him and having “Bob” show me physical evidence left behind from his encounter. I am not allowed to divulge his true identity, nor his residence. He requested I keep them secret. Bob lives in a rural small town and would rather his neighbors not know his story. Bob originally was a skeptic and never believed in “that UFO crap.” But one night, while driving back from a late night game of cards, his life changed forever.
For the first 60 minutes, he talked about himself and eventually got comfortable enough to tell me his story. I will begin with the initial sighting for length’s sake. Here is the remainder of the interview, transcribed from an audio tape:
Phoenix: So you were driving back from your friend’s house?
Bob: That’s right. We had played Texas Hold ‘Em for a few hours, and I guess it was around 1:30 that morning. I wasn’t in any hurry, knowing my wife was goin’ to kick my ass once she found out I lost the money for her hair appointment to bleach her roots.
Phoenix: Where there any other cars out?
Bob: Nope, not a-one. I had to turn on my brights to see. Gotta be careful. Lots of cows get out and you don’t wanna hit ‘em. I saw something out of the corner of my eye…I thought it was a low flying aero-plane or somethin’. I decided to stop, since not many planes fly over our town.
Phoenix: Did it make a sound?
Bob: My truck’s motor is pretty loud, so I didn’t hear nothin’ from it. I thought it was a plane, until I got a real good look at it. It was shaped like a grilled cheese sandwich, sliced in half.
Phoenix: Cut in half how?
Bob: What do you mean how? Cut in half. Right down the middle.
Phoenix: (I drew a diagram of a grilled cheese sandwich, and showed him the two ways you could cut it in half. You could cut it directly in the middle, resulting in two rectangular halves, or you could do it diagonally).
Bob: Like that (pointing to the diagonal ones).
Phoenix: It was triangular. Like a triangle. (Bob's actual drawing is pictured to the right).
Bob: Right, like a triangle. Underneath were these four of five bright lights, and where the cheese would be were long strips of white lights too. It didn’t make no sound at all. My motor died, and I tried to start it up. I didn’t want anythin’ to do with this flyin’ grilled cheese. I wanted to get the hell outta there. But my truck wouldn’t start.
Phoenix: What was the object doing while you tried to start your car?
Bob: It started to sway back and forth…and soon it was floatin’ directly over me. I looked up and saw that the belly of this thing was a dark metal just like the rest of it. And suddenly, BLAM…it hit me.
Phoenix: The grilled cheese?
Bob: No, this blue beam came out from the ship. It went through the windshield and hit me. I couldn’t move, and I smelled somethin’ weird.
Phoenix: What did you smell?
Bob: It smelled like rotten bananas. But it could’ve been me. I had ate three of them at my friend’s house.
Phoenix: Then what happened?
Bob: I blacked out…and I woke up to find myself nekkid up against the wall.
Phoenix: Did you have any idea where you were?
Bob: I can’t explain how I knew…but I knew I was flyin.’ I knew I was inside that ship and we was flyin.’
Phoenix: Can you describe the room you were in?
Bob: It was dark gray, no furniture or nothin.’ The walls were damn cold. My ass was freezin’ up against the metal. The room itself was pretty chilly. There were no lights, but I could still see.
Phoenix: What was going through your mind at that point?
Bob: What the hell do you think? I wanted to get outta there pronto! I couldn’t move. I wasn’t handcuffed or nothin’, though. I have no idea how they got my body to stick up on the wall like Velcro. I was scared, that’s for sure, but I got even more scared when “The Doctor” showed up.
Phoenix: Describe “The Doctor.”
Bob: His head was egg shaped, and he had these big bug eyes – black as night. They looked just like them pictures of aliens that you see on the TV. No nose, little slit for a mouth. No ears. His skin was light brown. His body was really thin. He stood maybe six feet tall. Long gangly arms and legs.
Phoenix: Why do you call him “The Doctor?”
Bob: That’s what he called himself.
Phoenix: So he spoke to you?
Bob: No. He told me inside my head.
Phoenix: You mean telepathy?
Bob: Yeah, if that’s what you call talkin’ without speakin.’ He told me not to be afraid. He just wanted to do some experiments and stuff on me. His job was to learn more about humans. He told me he’s worked on at least a thousand people, and that it would all be over soon.
Phoenix: Did that make you feel any better?
Bob: Hell no. I was really scared. And suddenly, the wall became the floor…and I was like laying on a table. It was weird. Like the room changed or somethin.’ There was a bright light from the ceiling, blindin’ me. So I turned away, and I saw three or four more of them aliens, but they were shorter, smaller. They looked like little kids. One of them started playin’ with my…you know…
Phoenix: With what?
Bob: He was playing with my…um…thing.
Phoenix: The little alien was playing with your penis?
Bob: Yeah. Flickin’ it, pullin’ it. He thought it was funny.
Bob: He didn’t talk neither, but I could read his mind. He thought it was funny lookin.’ I felt embarrassed. The room was real cold, and I told him with my mind that I’m not normally that shriveled up.
Phoenix: Good grief.