The Phoenix

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

It's's ALIVE...IT'S ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dr. Patrick Kochanek and other scientists from the Safar Center for Resuscitation Research have successfully brought dead dogs back to life. Sounds like something out of a B-movie right? Just how did they do it?

First they drained the canines of their blood, refilled their bodies with extremely cold "replacement fluid," then placed the blood back into them, and used electric shock to revive them.

Not all dogs came back, however. According to Dr. Kochanek, "We do not in any way say that every outcome is normal." So...does that mean some of the dogs came out abnormally???

The ones that did make it were fine, and after some testing were found to be just great with no apparent brain damage. I'm not really sure how the good doctors figured that out...are there some cognitive canine tests they could do? Did they use the standard "fetch the stick test?" Or maybe they observed the pups sniffing each other's defrosted butts.

Actually, the medical uses for this kind of research is profound. Those that are critically injured could be put in this sort of "cryogenic" state in order to minimize tissue damage until they can operate. In fact, Founder Dr. Peter Safar is responsible for inventing CPR. The technology the Safar Center is creating could potentially be life saving. It would revolutionize how modern medicine helps severely critical patients.

A spokesman for the Safar Center said they plan on testing this procedure on a HUMAN subject within a year!

Who will be the very first human to be re-animated????

Actually, isn't Keith Richards a surviving subject of a similar experiment from the 60s???


Blogger Jim said...

but why do the bananas turn black on the way home from the store -- the picture of Keith Richards reminded me of decomposing bananas -- if they can freeze and unfreeze doggies surely they could do something about the bananas

8/18/2005 12:05 AM  
Blogger The Phoenix said...

Maybe you could still use those rotting bananas does banana jerky sound?? MMMMMMM.

8/19/2005 4:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your blog is SO funny! Keep up the great work.

8/22/2005 8:13 AM  

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